My wife tried moving back in unannounced after leaving me for the guy she cheated on me with. What you doing there, Skeeter? The code not working. I changed it. Why? That's the exact reason. What do you think you're doing? Well, I need to move home. No, no, no, no, no. No, that's not how this works. You don't get to cheat on me and leave me for the
That one time my ex wife Showed up late af tried to taze me and it backfired. I'm not coming to the door, Lena. You don't need to be here. I swear to God, if you wake up the kids or you make the dog bark or all of the above, I'm gonna wing you off of the fucking porch. Kyle, just hear me out, okay? I've got a surprise. I want to show you something.
Home owner: Hey man. Delivery man: What's up, bro? Home owner: Hey, could you just leave it on the porch? I'm in the middle of feeding my son. Delivery man mishears 'on the porch' as 'of feeding my son'. Delivery man: Alright, got you. Home owner: Appreciate it, man. Delivery man mishears 'appreciate it man' as 'don't beat him too bad'. Delivery ma
Neighbor rings doorbell. Neighbor steps back. Homeowner: Um Hi! Were you the ones that took the Red Bull earlier? Neighbor: Yes, and they are here to apologize. And if they need to work it off or I'm gonna replace it. Homeowner: No, it's fine. You know, it's not that big of a deal, but just please don't do that again. If you want something, you can
Hey man. What up, bro? Hey, could you just leave it on the porch? I'm in the middle of feeding my son. Alright, got you. Appreciate it, man. No doubt. Don't don't beat him too bad. Oh no, I'm feeding him. I'm feeding him. Oh, oh, alright, alright. *laughs* You have a good day, bro.
WRONG PACKAGE... INSTANT KARMA! Oh oh God see my eyes! Oh you have got Well, someone left a gift just for me Ah my hair no I was just I saw the box I thought it was my neighbor's I was gonna put it by their door and then it just it went off like who does that locked open when you pick it up well yeah but I barely touched it I mean I didn't shake it
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